We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
