Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
