you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
