we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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