I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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