I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
