everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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