Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
