you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
