My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
