but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
