I wish you could order shots online.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
