Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize