she looked like the before picture.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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