I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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