Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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