so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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