went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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