You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
