there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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