I think my vagina is haunted
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
is that a dick in a sweater?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
