1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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