need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
