He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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