it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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