So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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