the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
