Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
