fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
