We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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