Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
