my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
