That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
