even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I cut my penus on the lid.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You made out with two different species that night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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