He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
