i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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