I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
