I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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