So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
