So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I have aggressive nipples.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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