some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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