she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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