Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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