You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
