Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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