watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
