I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
