I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
