i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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