Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
