I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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