I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
