I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
