it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
