I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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