White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
