For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
