No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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