He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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