One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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