My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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