porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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