every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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