Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
