This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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